Joke Of The Day: Iranian Potatoes

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Feb 042013
 

Rubber ChickenAn American woman and an Iranian woman are in the supermarket.

The Iranian woman picks up two potatoes and says, “These remind me of my husband’s testicles.”

The American woman says, “That big?”

The Iranian woman says, No…that dirty.”
 

1921: The World’s Greatest Kisser

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Jan 312013
 

Ah, the good old days!

1921 : The World's Greatest Kisser

Though Monsieur Brulé wasn’t much to look at, his aggressive technique allowed him to get a leg up on the competition.

André Brulé, stage exquisite, has been acclaimed the champion kisser of the world. By vanquishing 80 aspirants, including Americans, Russians, Italians, Spanish and French, he won the award from a committee of beauties of the younger set at Biarritz. In the course of the contest he is said to have turned an unprecedented number of feminine heads.Berenger, whose esthetic and manly beauty played havoc at Deauville, was second.

According to the jury, Brulé’s perfect kiss was according to the following procedure. He took careful aim, and then with his right arm waistward and his left foot used as a pivot, swung suddenly, implanting the kiss exactly in the middle of the mouth. The advantage of this method, which, it is declared, requires long practice, is that the girl has no time to escape.

Berenger’s style consists in seizing the chin softly but firmly in the left hand, while the right hand behind the neck insinuates the head forward.

The jury styled the American kisses as “flaccid,” the Russian “eruptive,” the Italian “burning,” the English “tepid,” the Spanish “vampirish” and the French “chaste.”

The osculatory contest was held in the dance hall casino. It was watched by the queen of Spain and an imposing array of Spanish and British royalty. Brule’s reward was a diamond scarfpin subscribed by the beauties.

Source…

Joke Of The Day: Last Minute Will Changes

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Jan 212013
 

Rubber ChickenLying on his deathbed, the wealthy Mr. Sams was instructing his attorney on last-minute changes in his will.

“I wish to leave everything I own, all stocks, bonds property, art, and money, to my wife. However, there is one stipulation.”

“And that is?”

“In order to inherit, she must marry within six months of my death.”

The lawyer seemed puzzled. “Why make such an unusual request?”

Mr. Sams answered, “Because I want someone to be sorry I died.”