Joke Of The Day: Sell Your Guns And Boat

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Jan 072013
 

Rubber ChickenTim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt.

His wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

After along period of silence she finally speaks.

Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married I think it’s time you quit hunting, shooting, hand-loading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and boat.

Tim gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”

“There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”

“Ex wife!”, she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!”

“I wasn’t.”

 

 

7 True Facts About Women

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Dec 262012
 
  1. The Most Important Thing for Women is Financial Security.
  2. Although this is Important, They Still Go Out & Buy Expensive Clothes.
  3. Although They Always Buy Expensive Clothes, They Never have Anything to Wear.
  4. Although They Never have Anything to Wear, They Always Dress Beautifully.
  5. Although They Always Dress Beautifully, They are Never Satisfied.
  6. Although They are Never Satisfied, They Still Expect Men to Compliment Them.
  7. Although They Expect Men to Compliment Them, When They do, They don’t Believe Them..!!!

Joke Of The Day: Three Wishes

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Dec 232012
 

Rubber ChickenAn explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and started to rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and he said “I want to know the person you hate the most”

The explorer said “That’s gotta be my ex-wife. Why?”

“I am a cursed genie, I will grant you three wishes but whatever you wish for your ex-wife will get double the amount.”

“OK, I wish for a billion dollars”

“Granted, but your ex-wife gets two billion”

“I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything”

“Granted your ex-wife gets two. This is your final wish”

The explorer walked around the room and came back to the genie with a stick and said “Ya see this stick, I’d like you to beat me half to death.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Reasons

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Dec 202012
 

Rubber ChickenTwo men are talking. The first one says, “I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes.”

“Amazing,” said the second, “I just got divorced for the very same reasons.”