The Story Of Nick The Dragonslayer

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Apr 132014
 

The Story Of Nick The Dragonslayer

 
The Story Of Nick The Dragonslayer

Once upon a time, and far, far away, lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts.

Nick the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them.

One day, Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King’s chief doctor.

Horatio, the Physician, exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it.

Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little into the Queen’s brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.

Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King quickly summoned Nick, the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen’s voluptuous and magnificent breasts.

The Queen’s itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins.

With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn’t have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, with a laugh just told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King’s underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer…
 

Joke Of The Day: Describing The Wife

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Apr 102014
 
Rubber Chicken After years of marriage the wife asked her husband to describe her.

The husband looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said ABCDEFGHIJK

“What does that mean?” She asked.

“Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot” he replied.

Wife Smiling asked, “What about IJK?”

He replied: I’m Just Kidding!

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Deep Thoughts

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Apr 072014
 
Rubber Chicken What deep thinkers men are… I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said ‘nothing’. The reason I said that instead of saying ‘just thinking’ is because she would have said ‘about what’. At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions.

Finally I thought about an age-old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.” On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.” I rest my case.

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Quickie

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Mar 302014
 
Rubber Chicken A man is walking home one night when he spots a woman in the shadows.

“Quick fun just $20” she whispers seductively as he gets to her.

He’d never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell? It’s been awhile, he’s running early, and it’s only $20.

So he steps into the bushes with her and very soon, they’re going at it.

Suddenly a light flashes on them — it’s a cop.

“What’s going on here?” asks the officer.

“I’m making love to my wife,” the man answers indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”

“Well,” said the man, “neither did I, until you shined that light in her face.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Beer Contains Female Hormones

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Mar 242014
 
Rubber Chicken Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn’t drive.

No further testing is planned

 

 

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