Joke Of The Day: Potential And Reality

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Mar 202014
 
Rubber Chicken A kid asks his father for help on a writing assignment. “Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?”

His father looks up thoughtfully and says, “I’ll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you’ve learned.”…

The kid is puzzled, but asks his mother. “Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?”

“Don’t tell your father, but, yes, I would.”

He then goes to his sister’s room. “Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?”

She replies, “Omigod! Definitely!”

The kid goes back to his father. “Dad, I think I’ve figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on $2 million bucks, but in reality, we’re living with two sluts.”

 

 

Mar 172014
 

Michelle Obama Is A Man! This video claims to present irrefutable and scientific proof that will establish beyond any reasonable doubt that Michelle Obama is in fact a man.

This should make humorless liberal heads explode!


IRREFUTABLE PROOF that Michelle Obama IS A MAN

This video will prove, that the person, commonly referred to, as “the first lady” of the United States, may be, ‘the first Queen’ at best – but he most certainly, is ‘not a lady.’ Let’s find out why. This video will examine the following:

It will examine Michelle’s male hands, male shoulders, male torso, male genitalia, and overall, male proportions. It will also look at how, a carefully designed wardrobe, a wide hairdo, a persistent ‘facially distorting smile,’ and ‘carefully selected press photos,’ have all succeeded, in suppressing the revelation of Michelle’s undeniable, male, physical, form.

While this information is “controversial and shocking” to say the least, it is being shared, because it is the Truth; It is being presented so that people can stop “living the lie”, that is being dished out by the U.S. Government, and the mainstream media.

Many people are unfamiliar with the more ‘subtle physical differences’ that can be found between men and women. While Michelle Obama works very hard to distort the more obvious differences, he fails miserably at hiding them all. Let’s take a close look at some of the male traits that he has failed to conceal. We will begin, by looking at the hands.

The scientific community, has known for a long time, that a man’s ring finger, is typically longer than a man’s indexfinger. Here are two clear pictures – that illustrate the differences in ring finger proportions, on male and female hands. Notice how the man’s ring finger is visibly longer than his index finger. While it is not uncommon for a woman to have the ring finger and index finger at very similar lengths, it is almost unheard of for a woman to have a visibly longer, ring finger.

See for yourself, by looking at both of your hands. Relax your hands. Put them flat on a table. Pull the fingers together, and notice the length of your ring finger. Now compare it to the length of your index finger. Your hands will now testify, against Michelle Obama, every time you look at them.

Read more…

 

Joke Of The Day: 1

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Mar 172014
 
Rubber Chicken Man walks into a supermarket and buys:

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube toothpaste
1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk
1 single serving cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner

The girl at the checkout looks at him and says “Single are you?”

The man replies very sarcastically “How did you guess?”

She replies “because you’re ugly.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Gender Of A Computer

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Mar 142014
 
Rubber Chicken A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

“House” for instance, is feminine: “la casa.”

“Pencil,” however, is masculine: “el lapiz.”

A student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’?”

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that “computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (“la computadora”) because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (“el computador”) because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.