Man Superglued To Wal-Mart Toilet

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Apr 122011
 


A Maryland man had to scream for help after getting super glued to a toilet inside a Walmart and an employee had to call 911 for help.

Police won’t say how long the man was stuck, but rescue crews had to unbolt the seat from the toilet and take the man to the hospital with the toilet still attached.

Customers who heard about the prank couldn’t help but laugh.

Authorities have yet to glue down a suspect in the case but they are not amused.

They say whoever is responsible will face second-degree assault charges.

Source…

Joke Of The Day

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Apr 092011
 

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.

He finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, “How bad is it doc? I’m going on my
honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way.”

The doc said , “I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.”

So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage and wired it all together. It was an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girlfriend.

They marry and on their honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her gorgeous breasts. This was the first time he ever saw them.

She says, “You are the first, no one has ever touched these breasts.”

He pulls down his pants, whips it out and says, “Look at this, it’s still in the CRATE!”

Best Tool Chest Ever!

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Apr 052011
 

Massachusetts piano maker Henry Studley built his magnificent tool chest over the course of a 30-year career at the Poole Piano Company. The chest lived on the wall near his workbench, and he worked on it regularly, making changes and adding new tools as he acquired them. Using ebony, mother-of-pearl, ivory, rosewood, and mahogany — all materials used in the manufacture of pianos — he refined the chest to the point that now, more than 80 years after his death, it remains in a class of its own.

Read more…

Love, Lust and Marraige

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Mar 212011
 

Love: When you take a bubble bath together
Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together
Marriage: When you give the kids a bath

Love: A romantic candle-light dinner for two
Lust: “Do I have to buy you dinner first?”
Marriage: 4 McDonald’s Happy Meals . . . to go

Love: Giving your love some candy
Lust: Thinking you are the candy
Marriage: Scraping the kids’ candy off of the carpet

Love: Sex every night
Lust: Sex 5 times a night
Marriage: What’s sex?

Love: A night out at the symphony
Lust: A night out at the Holiday Inn
Marriage: A night out at Disney World

Love: French perfume
Lust: Brut aftershave
Marriage: “The baby needs changing. . .”

Love: Lending your jacket to your love when he/she is cold
Lust: “I can think of a way to stay warm . . .”
Marriage: Your teenaged daughter has borrowed all of your jackets

Love: Talking and cuddling
Lust: Rolling over and falling asleep
Marriage: Getting up to wash your hands . . .

Love: Long drives through the countryside
Lust: Long parking sessions at Lover’s Lookout
Marriage: Long drives with the kids screaming in the backseat

Love: Your eyes meet across a crowded room
Lust: Your tongues meet across a crowded room
Marriage: Your belt won’t meet around your waist, and you don’t care

Love: You’re interested in everything your partner does
Lust: You’re only interested in one thing
Marriage: You’re not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you’re interested in is Stock Market

Do You Have a Male Brain or a Female Brain?

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Mar 202011
 

Well do you have a male Brain or a female brain?

Take this quick test to find out (this worked for me must work for others too!)

This is called the quick eye exam and will blow your mind…!

Just do it and don’t cheat!

It’s actually quite good.

But don’t cheat!

Count the number of F’s in the following text in 15 seconds:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE
RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS

Did you do it?

Scroll down only after you have counted them!

How many?

Did you say three? (You are definitely male!)

If so you are wrong. There are six – no joke!

Read it again!

FINISHED FILES ARE THE
RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS

The reasoning is…

The MALE brain cannot process the word “OF”.

Incredible or what?

Anyone who counts all six F’s on the first go has a brain of a Female.

You can test this by asking a Guy/Girl near you to work it out.

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