Jun 122011
Joke Of The Day
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Jun 112011
There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally became pregnant, and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later.
The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He went to his wife and said that there was no way he could be the father of that child.
“Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!” Then he gave her a stern look and asked, “Have you been fooling around on me?”
The wife just smiled sweetly and said, “Not this time”!
Joke Of The Day
Jokes
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Jun 072011
My wife and I went to the Nebraska Farm Show last week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said: “THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR”
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled and said, ‘He mated 50 times last year!’
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said: “THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR”
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, “WOW… That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters: “THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR”
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, “That’s once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.”
I looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.”
The Six Stages of Married Life
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Jun 042011
Beer Contains Female Hormones!
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May 102011
Yes, that’s right, FEMALE hormones!
Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects,
….yes, 100% of all these men:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn’t drive.
7) Failed to think rationally, and
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary!