Joke Of The Day: Boob Job

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Jan 302014
 
Rubber Chicken A wife comes home to ask her husband if she can get a boob job.

Wife: “Honey, I would like to get a boob job. Don’t you think I would look nice with a larger bra size?”

Husband: “I would like that, but how much is it going to cost?”

Wife: “It will cost about $5,000.”

Husband: “That is kind of expensive. Why don’t you try the toilet paper method first.”

Wife: “What is the toilet paper method?”

Husband: “Well, you take some toilet paper and rub it between your breasts.”

Wife: “How does that work?”

Husband: “I am not really sure how it works, but it worked pretty well on your ass.”

 

 

Friends vs. More Than Friends

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Jan 262014
 

This video does a good job of demonstrating the difference between a guy who wants to be friends versus a guy who wants to be more than friends.

Pay attention ladies!

Can guys and girls be just friends? It’s a question that’s been debated for years.

To clear up some of the confusion, Wong Fu Productions demonstrates in this newly trending video the difference between a guy friend, and a guy who wants to be more than just friends.

Source…

 

Joke Of The Day: Supper Invitation

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Jan 252014
 
Rubber Chicken “Honey,” says a husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “

What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess. I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!!”

“I know all that.”

“Then why did you invite a friend for supper?”

“Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Healing The Sick

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Jan 162014
 

Rubber ChickenAn elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night.

The preacher faces the camera, and announces, “My friends, I’d like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV and the other hand on the part of your body which ails you and I will heal you.”

The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, her husband approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and his other hand on his groin.

With a frown his wife says, “Ernest, he’s talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Teddy Bears

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Jan 072014
 
Rubber Chicken A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk, they connect and they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running
all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears and was quite impressed by his sensitive side.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, ‘Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?’

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips and he responds warmly.

They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other’s clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, ‘Well, how was it?’

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:

‘Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf’