Joke Of The Day: Snowplow Directions

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Feb 092014
 
Rubber Chicken On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Edmonton were listening to the radio during breakfast.

They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snowplows can get through.” So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the Snowplows can get through.” The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park….” Then the electricity went out.

The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, “I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the Snowplows can get through?”

Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all married men exhibit, the husband replied, “Why don’t you just leave the car in the garage this time.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Dressed in White

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Feb 042014
 
Rubber Chicken Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl was mesmerized by the whole spectacle.

Finally, she leaned over and whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”

Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life,” her mother explained, trying to keep it simple.

The youngster thought about this for a while.

“So then, why,” she finally asked her mother after putting the pieces together, “is the groom wearing black?”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: What Was That For?

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Feb 032014
 
Rubber Chicken A guy is sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.

“What was that for?” he asks.

“That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it,” she replies.

“Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on,” he explains.

She looks satisfied and apologizes.

Three days later he’s again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold.

When he comes to, he says, “What was that for?”

“YOUR HORSE PHONED!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Queensland Pick-up Line

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Feb 012014
 
Rubber Chicken I was in a pub in far Western Queensland last Saturday night, when this really brutally ugly girl came up to me, squeezed my ass and said

“Give me your number, sexy.”

I replied “Have you got a pen?”

She smiled and said “Yes.”

I replied, “Well you better get back in it, before the farmer notices you’re missing.”

via

 

 

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