Enjoy!
Australian YouTuber Durianriders demonstrates how to remove a giant spider after discovering one on his shoulder.
Instead of freaking out and smacking the enormous arthropod, he calmly walked outside and brushed up by a tree to coax the creepy bug off of him.
Instead, the spider walked up his neck.
Still, he remained poised until the spider fully disembarked.
“That my friends is how to remove a spider. Cool, calm, collected.”
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Three men died and stood in front of God. God asked the first man if he had been faithful to his wife. The man admitted to two affairs during his marriage. God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven.
The second man admitted to only one affair and was given a mid-sized car. The third man was asked the same question and said that he had been faithful to his wife until the day he died. God praised him and gave him a big luxury car. A week later, the three guys met in a parking lot in heaven. The man driving the luxury car began to cry. “What’s the matter?” the other two men asked. He replied, “I just passed my wife, and she was riding a bike!” |
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A man was involved in a terrible accident which left his member mangled and torn from his body.
The doctor assured him that modern medicine did make it possible for his manhood to be rebuilt, but since it was considered cosmetic surgery, his ObamaCare would not cover the surgery. On hearing this, the man asked the doctor what the cost would be. “You have three choices,” replied the doctor. “$4,000 for small, $7,000 for medium, and $15,000 for large.” The man appeared pleased with this news, but couldn’t decide whether he wanted the medium or the large. The doctor suggested that since the decision also affected the man’s wife, he talk it over with her privately before making a final decision. The doctor then left the room to give the man some privacy while he phoned his wife to explain the options. When the doctor returned to the room, he found the man looking very depressed and staring into space. “Have you and your wife reached a decision?” the doctor asked. “Yes,” the man replied, sounding very dejected. “After discussing it, my wife has decided she’d rather remodel the kitchen.” |