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A man was shocked to see his beautiful divorced neighbor knocking on his door one Friday evening.
“I’m feeling so lonely that I can’t stand it.” she said. “I want to go out, get drunk & want to enjoy my life. Are you free tonight?” “Yes!” he replied enthusiastically. “Wonderful.” she said. “Would you watch my kids? |
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With a very seductive voice, a wife asked her husband “Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?”
“No” said her husband. She gave him a sexy little smile unbuttoned top three buttons of her blouse and slowly reached down in her cleavage created by a soft, silky push up bra and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill. He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly. She then asked “Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?” “No I haven’t” he said, an anxious tone in his voice. She gave him another sexy little smile pulled up her skirt, seductively reached into her tight sheer panties and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill. He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation. “Now” she said “Have you ever seen 50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?” “No way” he said becoming even more aroused and excited to which she replied: “Go look in the garage.” |
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A man received the following text from his neighbour:
I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, more than you. I’m not getting it at home, but that’s no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won’t happen again. Bob, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her. A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn auto correct. I meant “wifi”, not “wife”. |
