Joke Of The Day: Stupid Wives

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Jul 082014
 
Rubber Chicken An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman are in a bar discussing how stupid their wives are.

The English man says: You know my wife must be the most stupid woman on this planet. There was a sale down at the supermarket last week, she bought $300 worth of meat, and we don’t even have a freezer.

The Scotsman says: That’s nothing, my wife went out last week and bought a brand new car for $8000, and she can’t even drive.

The Irishman says: You think that’s stupid, I went home last week and my wife told me that she’d booked herself a two-week holiday in Tenerife. I watched her packing her case and she took nearly 400 condoms with her, and she doesn’t even have a penis.

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Walking With Your Partner

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Jul 072014
 
Rubber Chicken The room was full of pregnant ladies and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”

The room really got quiet.

Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

“Yes,” replied the teacher.

“Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Picking A Password

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Jul 062014
 
Rubber Chicken A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in “penis”.

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Anesthesia

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Jun 282014
 
Rubber Chicken A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side.

A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are cute!”

The wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was now “cute.”

She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”

Her husband replied, “The drugs are wearing off!”

 

 

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