Joke Of The Day: KP Duty

Joke Of The Day: KP Duty One day in the army I was assigned KP duty. I reported to the Mess Hall and was told by the sergeant in charge that he wanted me to make 100 gallons of soup for tonight’s dinner. I told him I didn’t know how to make soup. He handed me a book and told me to follow the directions carefully.

A couple of hours later, I had a large kettle of soup simmering. The sergeant came up and tasted the soup. He took a second spoonful and stood there staring at me. I thought I had really messed up the soup and was waiting for a reprimand.

Instead, he said, “This tastes good… are you sure you followed the recipe?”

 

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Zip, Dick, and Pea

Joke Of The Day: Zip, Dick, and Pea There were three boys in a classroom: one named Zip, Dick, and Pea. Their teacher leaves the room for a moment, so Zip gets on top of the cupboard, Dick goes inside the cupboard, and Pea jumps around outside.

The teacher returns and yells: “Zip down, Dick out, and Pea in the corner!”

 

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Buying an Aging Thoroughbred

Joke Of The Day: Buying an Aging Thoroughbred A woman was considering buying an aging thoroughbred but wanted a veterinarian’s opinion of the horse before finalizing her deal.

When the vet had completed his examination, she asked, “Will I be able to race him?”

The veterinarian looked at the woman, then at the horse. “Sure,” he replied, “and you’ll probably win!”

 

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Rules

Joke Of The Day: The Rules A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules.

“I’ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want,” he insisted. “And, I don’t expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules,” he said. “Any comments?”

His new bride replied, “No, that’s fine with me. But, just understand that there’ll be sex here at seven o’clock every night … whether you’re here or not.”
 

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: An Affair

Joke Of The Day: An Affair Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. Last week I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.”

His second friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. This week I found a wrench under the bed, and it wasn’t mine.”

Paddy says: “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.” Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. “No I’m serious. Yesterday I came home and found a jockey under our bed.”

 

 

 

 

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