Important Women’s Health Issue

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Jun 082011
 

Important Women’s Health Issue:

1. Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
2. Do you suffer from shyness?
3. Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness, and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living with ” Margaritas !! ”

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:

– Dizziness
– Nausea
– Vomiting
– Incarceration
– Erotic lustfulness
– Loss of motor control
– Loss of clothing
– And, a desire to sing Karaoke
– Loss of money
– Loss of virginity
– Table dancing
– Headache
– Dry mouth
– Dehydration

* WARNINGS:

* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Please check with your doctor, then share this information with other women who may need the benefits of “Margaritas!”

Joke Of The Day

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Jun 072011
 

My wife and I went to the Nebraska Farm Show last week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said: “THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR”

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled and said, ‘He mated 50 times last year!’

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said: “THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR”

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, “WOW… That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters: “THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR”

My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, “That’s once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.”

I looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.”

Air Force Academy Graduates Four Sisters

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May 302011
 

Though neither of their parents were in the military, four sisters from Connecticut have started their own tradition by all joining the air force. This week twins Amanda and Alicia Robillard became Air Force Academy graduates, marking the first time four sisters have graduated from the Academy. Lauren, who is a helicopter pilot, was in the class of 2007, and Nicole, an airfield operations officer, was in the class of 2009.

Alicia said:

“While they (my sisters) and my parents were sure to not make Amanda and I feel forced in any way, the fact that they were here opened us up to the opportunities and experiences that I would have not been aware of … In a sense, you could say it is like choosing the same college as your best friend, especially for Amanda and me.”

Source…

Beer Contains Female Hormones!

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May 102011
 

Yes, that’s right, FEMALE hormones!

Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects,

….yes, 100% of all these men:

1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional.

6) Couldn’t drive.

7) Failed to think rationally, and

8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary!