Joke Of The Day: Water In The Carburettor

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Apr 052013
 

Rubber ChickenWIFE: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor.”

HUSBAND: “Water in the carburettor? That’s ridiculous.”

WIFE: “I tell you the car has water in the carburettor.”

HUSBAND: “You don’t even know what a carburettor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?”

WIFE: “In the pool.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Prospective Juror

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Mar 312013
 

Rubber ChickenA prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given to the panel: “An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse’s mate is found in a ‘compromising position.'”

“See, I have a problem with that passion business,” responded the jury candidate. “During my first marriage, I discovered that my husband was having an affair with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him.”

She wasn’t selected for the jury.

 

 

Joke Of The Day: A Part In The School Play

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Mar 302013
 

Rubber ChickenA boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play.

“What part?” the mother asked.

“I play a Jewish husband,” the boy replied.

“Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Migraine Headaches

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Mar 292013
 

Rubber ChickenA man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches.

When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.

“Listen,” says the Doctor, “I have migraines, too and the advice I’m going to give you isn’t really anything I learned in medical school, but it’s advice that I’ve gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks.”

Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. “Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I’ve had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!”

“Well,” says the physician, “I’m glad I could help.”

“By the way, Doc,” the patient adds, “you have a REALLY nice house.”

 

 

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