Joke Of The Day

The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners at the airports.

It’s a booth you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you. They see this as a win-win for everyone, with none of the whining about racial profiling. It also would eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials. Justice would be swift. Case closed!

You’re in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system: “Attention standby passengers — we now have a seat available on flight number ____. Shalom.”

Why Muslims Like to Commit Suicide

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.

Let’s see now…

No Jesus
No Christmas
No television
No cheerleaders
No naked women
No car races
No NFL football
No pork BBQ
No hot dogs
No burgers
No chocolate chip cookies
No lobster
No nachos
No Beer Nuts
No Beer!!!!!!!!

• Rags for clothes and towels for hats

• Constant wailing from the guy next door because he’s sick and there are no doctors

• Constant wailing from the Imam guy in the tower

• More than one wife

• You can’t shave

• Your wives can’t shave

• You can’t shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel shit.

• Your bride is picked by someone else

• She smells just like your donkey

• Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better! 72 Virgins in Paradise?

I mean, really, is there actually a surprising mystery here?

Joke Of The Day

I recently came back from a tour of duty in Afghanistan.

Having not seen my wife for several months, I was looking forward to a night of hot passionate sex with her.

Unfortunately, she came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her head and I shot her.

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