The Speed of Time by Age

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Mar 232012
 

0-9: Extremely slow. Even a trip to the store with Mom seems like going to Albania – by covered wagon. Most common phrase: “Is it
Christmas yet?”

10-19: Still slow. Scientific evidence seems to show that school clocks actually move backwards just before the bell rings.

20-29: Alternately fast and slow. Weekends seem shorter and shorter, yet paychecks seem further and further apart.

30-39: Time achieves warp speed, except when put on hold on the telephone and forced to endure anything longer than 5 seconds of Muzak. Most common phrase: “Is it Christmas already?”

40-49: Still fast. Seems like just yesterday when Jerry Brown said he might run for President. Wait a minute! It WAS yesterday when he said that. Also, Dick Clark still looks the same. Could time be slowing down?

60-69: Hey! What happened to 50-59?

70 +: Unbelievably fast. Wars used to last years. Now it seems like they’re over in a couple weeks.

Joke Of The Day

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day
Mar 182012
 

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather’s lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, “Grandpa, did God make you?”

“Yes, sweetheart,” he answered. “God made me a long time ago.”

“Oh,” she paused. “Grandpa, did God make me too?”

“Yes, indeed, honey,” he said. “God made you just a little while ago.”

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, “God’s getting better at it, isn’t he?”

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