An old man woke up in the middle of the night and found, to his utter astonishment, that his pecker was as hard as a rock for the first time in two years.
He shook his wife by the shoulder until she woke up and showed her his enormous boner.
“You see that thing, woman?” he happily exclaimed. “What do you think we ought to do with it?”
With one eye open, his wife replied, “Well, now that you’ve got all the wrinkles out, this might be a good time to wash it!!
The boss said to his four of his employees, “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.”
Black employee: “I’m a protected minority.
Female employee: “And I’m a woman.”
Oldest employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it’ll make your head spin.”
To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: “I think I might be gay…”
A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.
“Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.” said the wife.
The fairy moved her magic stick and – abracadabra! – two tickets for the new Queen Mary 2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.
Now it was the husbands turn. He thought for a moment and said: “Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.”
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish… So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and -abracadabra! – the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: “Fairies are female.”
A distraught senior citizen Phoned her doctor’s office.
‘Is it true,’ she wanted to know, ‘that the medication
You prescribed has to be taken For the rest of my life?’
‘Yes, I’m afraid so,’ the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, ‘I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS’.’