The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.”
The pharmacist said, “That won’t do you any good.”
The elderly gentleman said, “That’s alright. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Age defined perfectly :
Youth is when you smoke, drink, and are naughty all through the night, and the next morning you still look like you haven’t been doing any of that.
Middle age is when you smoke, drink, and are naughty all through the night, and on the next morning, you look like you have been smoking, drinking and have been naughty all through the night.
Old age is when at night you neither smoke nor drink, nor are naughty, yet on the next morning you look like you have been smoking, drinking and have been naughty all through the night.
When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to defend herself.
“Well, Your Honor,” she replied coolly. “I figured that at 92, if he could make love to another woman, he could fly!”
There’s nothing quite as pungent as walking into a book store specializing in old tomes. But why do they produce such a strong and unique smell as they age? Basically every book is an organic chemical reaction just waiting to happen.
Books printed in the 19th and 20th centuries are particularly prone to breaking down because of the chemicals used in the paper pulp and the acidic inks on the pages. As soon as they come off the printing press the various chemicals start to react, giving off potent vapors, and the process is expedited when books are exposed to light and moisture. Oddly enough the manuscripts created by the earliest-known printers will survive even longer than the books printed today since the paper they used contained far fewer chemicals. So maybe Harper Collins can still learn something from old Gutenberg?
