An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.
The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The old man looks at the bartender through
Teary eyes and between sobs says, “I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper,
Extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and intensely passionate in bed.”
The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says, “But that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are crying?”
The old man looks at the bartender and says, “I can’t remember where I live!”
Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together.
They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the second, “My eyesight isn’t what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for me?”.
The second guy says, “Sure! I see fine. Go ahead and hit.”
So the first old man steps up to the tee and really hits it. He turns to his buddy and says, “Did you see it?”.
“Sure!”, says his buddy.
“Where did it go?”, the first guy asks.
The second old man thinks for a minute and says, “I can’t remember.”
Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park.
Johnny asked, “Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?”
Grandpa looks at him and says “No Johnny, I will not.”
“But Grandpa, why?” asks little Johnny.
Grandpa replies. “Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one worth writing to.”
