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An old couple were sitting in their rockers on their front porch, reflecting on life. Suddenly, the woman gets up and smacks the old man so hard he tumbles off the porch onto the ground.
“What was that for?” he asked. “That’s for having such a tiny penis!” she answered. He gets up, dusts himself off and gets back in his chair. After a while, he gets up and smacks her off the porch and onto the ground. She yells “What was that for?” “That’s for knowing the difference!” |
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It was hailed as a medical breakthrough in fertility treatments when a 74-year-old woman was able to give birth.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, a crowd of neighbors and relatives came to visit. “May we see the new baby?” one asked. “Not yet,” said the mother. “I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.” Thirty minutes had passed, and another visitor asked, “May we see the new baby now?” “No, not yet,” said the mother. After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, “May we see the baby now?” “No, not yet,” replied the mother. Growing very impatient, they asked, “Well, when can we see the baby?” “When he cries!” she told them. “When he cries?” they demanded. “Why do we have to wait until he cries?” “Because,” she said. “I forgot where I put him, OK?!” |
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The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so she’d pipe up, “Have we reached Oriskany Falls yet, sonny?”
“No, lady, not yet. I’ll let you know,” he replied, time after time. The hours passed, the old woman kept asking for Oriskany Falls, and finally the little town came into view. Sighing with relief, the driver slammed on the brakes, pulled over and called out, “This is where you get out, lady.” “Is this Oriskany Falls?” “YES!” he bellowed. “Get out!” “Oh, I’m going all the way to Albany, sonny,” she explained sweetly. “It’s just that my daughter told me that when we got this far, I should take my blood pressure pill.” |
Total the number of these that you remember:
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles
5. Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive – 6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S&H Green Stamps
16. Hi-fi’s
17. Metal ice trays with levers
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulbs
20. Beanie and Cecil
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers
If you remembered 0-5 You’re still young.
If you remembered 6-10 You are getting older.
If you remembered 11-15 Don’t tell your age.
If you remembered 16-25 You’re older than dirt!.
