Old Age Archives - Page 33 of 74 - Common Sense Evaluation

A young man watched as an elderly couple sat down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, etc, until each had exactly half.

Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, but his wife just sat watching him.

The young man felt sorry for them and asked “I’m sorry to intrude, but would you allow me to purchase another meal for your wife so that you don’t have to split your food?”

The old gentleman said, “Oh, no, thank you. But you see, we’ve been married a long time, and everything has always been shared, 50/50.”

The young man said, “Wow! That’s commendable.” He then turned to the wife and asked, “Aren’t you going to eat your share?”

The wife replied “Not yet. It’s his turn to use the teeth.”

The longest living human ‘says he is ready for death at 145.

An Indonesian man who claims to be the longest living human in recorded history has described how he “just wants to die.”

Mbah Gotho, from Sragen in central Java, was born on December 31, 1870, according to the date of birth on his identity card.

Now officials at the local record office say they have finally been able to confirm that remarkable date as genuine.

If independently confirmed, the findings would make Mbah Gotho a staggering 145 years old – and the longest lived human in recorded history.

But despite his incredible longevity, Mbah Gotho says he has little wish to remain on this earth much longer.

“What I want is to die. My grandchildren are all independent,” he told local media this week.

Mbah Gotho has outlived all 10 of his siblings, four wives, and even his children. His nearest living relatives are grand children, great grand children, and great-great grandchildren.

One of Mbah Gotho’s grandsons said his grandfather has been preparing for his death ever since he was 122.

He has even bought a burial site close to the graves of his children.

“The gravestone there was made in 1992. That was 24 years ago,” Mbah Gotho’s grandson said.

Members of the family said Mbah Gotho now spends most of his time sitting and listening to the radio because his eyesight is too poor to watch television.

He has had to be spoon fed and bathed for the past three months as he became increasingly frail.

When asked what his secret to longevity is, Mbah Gotho replied: “the recipe is just patience.”

While record office staff say they have confirmed the birthdate on his identity card, he will not make it into the record books until the findings are independently verified.

The current record holder, Frenchwoman Jeanne Calment, died in 1997 at the age of 122.

Source…

One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said,

“See that old man asleep in the chair by the fire-place? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you’ll never forget.”

They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story.

“Well,” he began, “I remember back in ’44’, we went on a lion hunting expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. I don’t know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, ‘ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!……’ Well… I just sh*t my pants.”

The young men looked astonished and one of them said, “I don’t blame you, I would have sh*t my pants too if a lion jumped out at me.”

The old man shook his head and said, “No, no, not then, just now when I said ‘ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!'”

Common Sense Evaluation

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Longest Living Human, 145, Says He Just Wants To Die

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Joke Of The Day: The Hunting Story