Joke Of The Day

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Jul 092012
 

A rich man and his wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who was that?”

“Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”

“Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce!”

“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris , no more wintering in Barbados , no more summers in Tuscany , no more Jaguar in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

“Who’s that woman with Joseph?” asks the wife.

“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.

“Ours is prettier,” she replies.

Joke Of The Day

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Jun 302012
 

An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said “That’s no problem. How many do you want?”

The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.”

The pharmacist said, “That won’t do you any good.”

The elderly gentleman said, “That’s alright. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”