Joke Of The Day: After The Checkup

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Sep 232012
 

Rubber ChickenA woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and said, “Your husband is suffering from severe, long-term stress and it’s affecting his cardiovascular system. He’s a good candidate for either a heart attack or a stroke. If you don’t do the following four things, your husband will surely die”.

“First, each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.”

“Second, at lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.”

“Third, for dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don’t burden him with household chores.”

“Fourth, and most important for invigorating him and relieving stress, have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim in bed.”

On the way home in the car, the husband turned to his wife and asked, “So, I saw the doctor talking to you and he sure seemed serious. What did he tell you?”

“You’re going to die,” she replied.

 

Joke Of The Day: Last Requests

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Sep 212012
 

Rubber ChickenFather O’Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.

“What’s bothering you so, dear?” inquired Farther O’Grady.

“Oh, father, I’ve got terrible news.” Replied Mary.

“Well what is it, Mary?”

“Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father.”

“Oh, Mary” said the father, “that’s terrible. Tell me Mary, did he have any last requests?”

“Well, yes he did father,” replied Mary.

“What did he ask, Mary?”

Mary replied, “He said, ‘Please, Mary, put down the gun…'”

 

 

Glock Pistol Disguised As Cordless Drill

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Sep 192012
 

No ,the drill doesn’t work, but if you point it where you want a hole, it can make it happen!

Glock Pistol Cordless Drill

Mark Bilicki teamed up with his local gunsmith James Oberkirsch to create this fully functional Glock Model 21 .45 disguised as a DeWalt cordless drill. The drill doesn’t actually work, but something tells me that won’t be a problem.

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