Joke Of The Day: Solomon’s Wisdom

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Mar 152017
 
Rubber Chicken Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit.

“This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter,” said one.

“No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,” said the other.

And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence.

“Bring me my biggest sword,” said Solomon, “and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half.”

“Sounds good to me,” said the first lady.

But the other woman said, “Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman’s daughter marry him.”

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. “The attorney must marry the first lady’s daughter,” he proclaimed.

“But she was willing to hew him in two!” exclaimed the king’s court.

“Indeed,” said wise King Solomon. “That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law.”

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Devil And A Lawyer

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Jul 142016
 
Rubber Chicken An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when Satan appeared before him.

The Devil told the lawyer, “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, and the souls of all your friends and law partners.”

The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, “So, what’s the catch?”

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Heart Transplant

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May 302016
 
Rubber Chicken An elderly man was in need of a heart transplant and his doctor was discussing his options with him.

“We have three possible donors, Mr. Smith.” the doctor said. “You’ll have to tell me which one you’d like us to use. The first is a healthy athlete who was killed in a car crash. The second is a middle-aged businessman who died in an accident, never having had a drink and never having smoked his entire life. The third is a lawyer who died after practicing law for 25 years.”

The patient thought it over and told his doctor that he would take the lawyer’s heart.After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient his reason for choosing the donor he did.

“It was an easy decision, doctor,” replied the patient. “I wanted a heart that hadn’t been used.”