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An employee approached his boss and asked for a raise. “Well” began the head man, “business is bad now, Frank and I just can’t afford to give you a raise.”
“But I’m doing the three men’s work and I always have…” retorted Frank. “Three men’s work?” exploded the boss. “Tell me who the other two are, and I’ll fire them!”
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A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can’t find the rake. He yells up to his wife, “Where is the rake?”
She can’t hear him and shouts back, “What?” The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee, and finally makes a raking motion. The wife is not sure and says, “What?” The man repeats his gestures, mouthing, “EYE KNEE — THE RAKE.” The wife replies that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her butt, and finally to her crotch. Well, there is no way in hell the man can even come close on that one. Exasperated, he goes upstairs and asks her, “What in the heck was that?” She replies, “EYE — LEFT TIT — BEHIND — THE BUSH”
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A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”
The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made …” Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.” The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?” The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his!”
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