Joke Of The Day Archives - Page 55 of 1269

Joke Of The Day: Half Empty

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Sep 162025

I asked my wife if the cup was half empty or half full.

She told me to stop wearing her bra.

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Sep 152025

A guy walks into a restaurant with his emotional support alligator.

The hostess is shocked, but before she can say anything, he asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”

She stammers a bit and says, “Yes, we serve lawyers”

So the guy says, “I’ll have the ravioli, and the alligator will have a lawyer”.

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Sep 142025

The Doctor asked me if I’ve been feeling myself lately.

I said I had, but it wasn’t as much fun as feeling my girlfriend.

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Sep 132025

Q: What size of clothes do chubby sled dogs wear?

A: Husky.

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Sep 122025

Husband to wife: “What would you if I won in the lottery?”

Wife: “I’ll take half and leave you”

Husband: “Well, I won $12. Here’s six… keep in touch”.