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A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.
As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman. “That’s unfair!” he cried. “I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.” “Shut up,” barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork. “Who are you to question that woman’s punishment?”
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A woman dies and goes to heaven. As St. Peter is processing her, she hears a woman screaming in pain. She looks in the room and sees them drilling holes in the woman’s shoulders to fasten the wings. Then she hears a man screaming and sees them drilling holes in his head to fasten the halo.
“I do not want to go to heaven,” she tells St. Peter. “I’ll go to the other place.” “You don’t want to go there,” he replies. “They rape and sodomize you down there.” “I don’t care,” she answers. “At least I already have holes for that.”
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