Ten Dog Rules

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Apr 192018
 
Ten Dog Rules

Ten Dog Rules
  1. The dog is not allowed in the house.
  2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
  3. Okay, fine, the dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.
  4. The dog can get on the old furniture only.
  5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
  6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.
  7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
  8. The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only!
  9. The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
  10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.

 

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Careful What You Wish For

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Apr 192018
 
Joke Of The Day: Careful What You Wish For Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives.

The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,”I wish the ocean was a sea of beer.” And it happened.

A little while later the other one shouted,”Great, now we have to pee in the boat!”

 

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Buying Men’s Toiletries

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Apr 182018
 
Joke Of The Day: Buying Men's Toiletries Judi and Jon got married and she was at the drugstore looking at the men’s toiletries. A clerk comes up to help her and asks if she needs assistance.

“I’m looking for some deodorant for my new husband Jon, but I don’t know what type he uses.”

The clerk says, “Is it the ball type?”

“No,” says Judi, it’s for his underarms.”

 

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Linguistic Humor

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Apr 172018
 
Joke Of The Day: Linguistic Humor The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu”.

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand Trekked a lonely caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destination—Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a-huntin went, Met three whores in a pop up tent. They was three, and we was two, So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

 

 

 

 

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