Humor Archives - Page 201 of 1627 - Common Sense Evaluation

There was a tradesman, a painter named Jack, who was very interested in making a dollar where he could.

So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time.

Eventually, the local church decided to do a big restoration project.

Jack put in a painting bid and, because his price was so competitive, he got the job.

And so he started, erecting the trestles and putting up the planks, and buying the paint and thinning it down with turpentine.

Jack was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly done, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder.

The sky opened and the rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over the church and knocking Jack off the scaffold to land on the lawn.

Jack was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he fell on his knees and cried, “Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?”

And from the thunder, a mighty Voice spoke, “Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!”

One day a midget is walking along feeling a bit parched, when what do ya know, he sees a bar, just for midgets!

“What luck”, he thinks, and strolls in.

Inside there are miniature versions of everything! Little chairs with tiny tables, half size doors leading to miniature toilets, a tiny pool table with tiny pool cues, the place has everything, apart from customers… Its completely dead.

Sitting solitary at a table looking rather glum is the bartender. The midget approaches him and asks,” Why is it so empty in here, this place is amazing!”

“Well, we’ve been open for months now and all my customers just come in and leave without ordering any drinks”, explains the bartender, “I’ve got to be honest, I had higher expectations for this place!”

The bartender offers the midget a drink, then goes behind the counter and starts pouring him a pint.

“Um… I think I’m starting to understand why you don’t have any customers”, shouts the midget, looking up at the enormous counter towering above him, “you’ve set the bar way too high”.

Common Sense Evaluation

Joke Of The Day: A Is For Apple

Newton’s Fourth Law

Joke Of The Day: The Tradesman

Joke Of The Day: The Midget Bar

Joke Of The Day: A Weasel In A Bar