Joke Of The Day: Getting Married In Heaven

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Jan 192014
 
Rubber Chicken A young couple was on their way to get married when they were involved in a fatal car accident. It was really bad, like something from a Quentin Tarantino movie.

At any rate, they soon found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates of heaven staring at St. Peter himself. Upset, but wanting to make the best of a bad situation, the woman asks St. Peter if the can get married in Heaven, since they couldn’t before they died.

“Wow,” he said, “that’s the first time in all of eternity anyone has ever asked me that. I’ll go check!”

St. Peter at the Pearly Gates of Heaven JokeSo, for what seemed like an eternity, St. Peter was gone. Innumerable amounts of people were backing up the line at the gates of heaven. He was gone for so long, the young couple began having doubts as to whether they really wanted to be with each other for all of eternity.

Just when they were about to give up hope, St. Peter finally returned. “Good news! Looks like we can make this happen!” he said with an exhausted smile.

“Great!” replied the young man, “but before we go through with it, we were wondering… what if it doesn’t work out? Can we get a divorce in heaven?”

“Holy cow!” gasped St. Peter. “It took me four months to find a priest up here, do you have any idea how long it would take to find a lawyer?”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Cars In Heaven

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Dec 302013
 
Rubber Chicken Three men died and stood in front of God. God asked the first man if he had been faithful to his wife. The man admitted to two affairs during his marriage. God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven.

The second man admitted to only one affair and was given a mid-sized car.

The third man was asked the same question and said that he had been faithful to his wife until the day he died. God praised him and gave him a big luxury car.

A week later, the three guys met in a parking lot in heaven. The man driving the luxury car began to cry.

“What’s the matter?” the other two men asked.

He replied, “I just passed my wife, and she was riding a bike!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Henry Ford Goes To Heaven

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Dec 052013
 
Rubber Chicken Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Ford, “Well, you’ve been such a good guy and your invention, the assembly line for the automobile, changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven.”

Ford thinks about it and says, “I wanna hang out with God, himself.”

The befeathered fellow at the gate takes Ford to the Throne Room and introduces him to God.

Ford then asks God, “Hey, aren’t you the inventor of Woman?”

God says, “Ah, yes.”

“Well,” says Ford, You have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There’s too much front end protrusion
2. It chatters at high speeds
3. The rear end wobbles too much, and
4. The intake is placed to close to the exhaust.”

“Hmmm..” replies God, “hold on.” God goes to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result.

The computer prints out a slip of paper and God reads it. “It may be that my invention is flawed,” God replies to Henry Ford, “but according to my Computer, more men are riding my invention than yours.”

 

 

Random Riddle: 11-17-2013

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Nov 172013
 
There’s a fork in the road to Heaven, where one way leads to Hell. At this fork in the road, two twin brothers live who are exactly alike, except that one always tells the truth and the other one always lies.

What single question can you ask one of them to find the way to Heaven?
 

Riddle