Noah’s Ark

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Jul 202011
 

Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah’s Ark.

ONE: Don’t miss the boat.

TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.

THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.

FOUR: Stay fit. When you’re 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

FIVE: Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

SIX: Build your future on high ground.

SEVEN: For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.

EIGHT: Speed isn’t always an advantage… The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

NINE: When you’re stressed, float awhile.

TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

ELEVEN: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting.

Joke Of The Day

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Jul 022011
 

Adam was talking to God one day, ”Why did you make Eve so pretty?”

God replied, ”So you would love her.”

Adam then asked, ”Why did you make her such a good cook?”

God replied, ”So you would love her”.

Adam asked, ”Why does she have such a heavenly smile?”

God said, ”So you would love her”.

Finally, Adam asked, ”Why did you make her so dumb?”

God replied, ”So that she would love you!”

Joke Of The Day

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May 092011
 

St. Peter was standing at the Pearly Gates when a group of people from Detroit walked up. He had never had anyone from Detroit make it this close, so he told them to wait there while he asks God how to handle this.

St. Peter found God and asked him what to do about the people from Detroit. God said to let the ten most virtuous amongst them enter heaven.

St. Peter left God, and a few minutes later he came running back up to God, and said…”they’re gone”!

God asked…”the people from Detroit”?

St. Peter said… “No, the Pearly Gates”!