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A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the doctor comes into the room and says, “I have something to tell you about your child …”
The woman slowly sits up with a worried look on her face and says, “What’s wrong with it?” The doctor says, “There’s nothing really wrong with it, it’s just a little different! It’s a hermaphrodite.” The woman looks confused. “A hermaphrodite, what’s that?” The doctor replies, “It has both features of a male and a female.” The woman looks relieved. “What? You mean it has a penis and a brain?”
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A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then closed and went back into the house.
A little later, she came out of her house again and went to the mailbox. She opened and shut it again. Angrily, she went back to the house. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her: “Is something wrong?” To which she replied: “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying: You’ve got mail!”
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A man jumps out of a plane, but his parachute doesn’t open. Panicking, he pulls the cord for the reserve chute… snap! That one’s broken too. He’s plummeting toward the ground like a rock.
By pure chance, as he’s falling, he sees another man coming upwards from the ground at incredible speed. The falling man seizes the moment and yells: “Hey! Do you know anything about parachutes?!” The other man shouts back: “No! Do you know anything about gas heaters?!”
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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” She asked. “Hunting Flies” He responded. “Oh. Killing any?” She asked. “Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell them apart?” He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”
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