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It is not always easy to say the right thing on the spur of the moment. We can sympathize with the chap who met an old friend after many years.
“How is your wife?” “She is in heaven,” replied the friend. “Oh, I’m sorry,” stammered the chap. Then he realized this was not the thing to say. “I mean,” he stammered, “I’m glad.” That seemed even worse so he blurted, “Well, what I really mean is, I’m surprised.”
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The stockbroker was nervous about being in prison because his cellmate looked like a real thug.
“Don’t worry,” the gruff looking fellow said, “I’m in here for a white collar crime too.” “Well, that’s a relief.” sighed the stockbroker. “I was sent to prison for fraud and insider trading. What about you?” “Oh nothing fancy like that for me,” grinned the convict. “I just killed a couple of priests.”
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A man was driving by an insane asylum when he got a flat tire. He pulled over to change the tire, when he noticed one of the inmates watching him from behind the iron gate. The man nervously jacks up the car and removes the hubcap of the flattened tire. He then carefully removes each of the lug nuts and places them in the upturned hubcap so they will not get lost. All the while, the inmate silently watches him.
He removes the damaged tire and replaces it with his spare tire. As he reaches to retrieve a lug nut, he accidentally tips over the hubcap, and all 4 of the lug nuts fly out and fall down the storm drain. Now the driver is in a real panic, he cannot replace the tire, and he dare not ask for help… when suddenly the inmate speaks. “Why don’t you just remove one lug nut from each of the other tires, install them on the replacement tire? Then drive down the street to the auto garage and buy four more lug nuts?” The driver looks up in astonishment at the inmate and says… “That’s brilliant! But if you’re so smart, what are you doing in there?” To which the inmate responds… “I may be crazy… but I’m not stupid”
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