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The doctor told me I was going deaf.
The news was hard to hear.
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Category: Jokes
Joke Of The Day: The Best Blonde Joke
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A blind man walks into a bar, sits down at the counter and orders a double martini. Realizing that there are several people sitting around him, he says:
“I’m going to tell you the best joke about blondes you’ve ever heard.” The woman next to him says: “Before you tell the joke, I’m going to warn you about a few things: — The waitress who gave you the drink is blonde. — I’m blonde and a jiu-jitsu instructor. — On my left is my bipolar blonde sister. — Sitting at the table next to you are two blondes with Russian mafia tattoos.” Blind man: “I’ve changed my mind! If I have to explain the joke five times, I’ll give up.”
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Joke Of The Day: The Wife’s Cat
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A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he arrived home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further, and the cat would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: “Jen, is the cat there?” “Yes”, the wife answers, “why do you ask?” Frustrated, the man answered, “Put him on the phone, I’m lost and need direction! ”
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