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Cousin Elly, who happens to be blonde, is the world’s worst at getting instructions mixed up. When she got married, her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it.
Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, add coffee and water, set the timer, go back to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready. A few weeks later, Elly was back in the store and Riley asked her how she liked the coffee maker. “Wonderful!” she replied, “However, there’s one thing I don’t understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?”
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In prison, you spend the majority of your time in an 8′ X 10′ cell. At work, you spend most of your time in a 6′ X 8′ cubicle.
In prison, you get three meals a day. At work, you only get a break for one meal, and you have to pay for that one. In prison, you get time off for good behavior. At work, you get rewarded for good behavior with more work. At work, you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. In prison, you can watch TV and play games. At work, you get fired for watching TV and playing games. In prison, they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work, you are just ball-and-chained. In prison, you get your own toilet. At work, you have to share. In prison, they allow your family and friends to visit. At work, you cannot even speak to your family and friends. In prison, all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required. At work, you get to pay all the expenses to go to work, and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners. In prison, you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside, wanting to get out. At work, you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars. In prison, you can join many programs, which you can leave at any time. At work, there are some programs you can never get out of. In prison, there are wardens who are often sadistic. At work, we have managers.
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