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A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they’d have to drastically alter their life-style.
“If you’ll just learn to cook,” he said, “we can fire the chef.” “Okay,” she said. “And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener.”
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Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath, “You scared us half to death … we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?” “Those fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name!”
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