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A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.
As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman. “That’s unfair!” he cried. “I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.” “Shut up”, barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork. “Who are you to question that woman’s punishment?”
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3 little ducks go into a bar. “What’s your name, the barman asks the first duck?”
“Huey” was the reply. “How’s your day been, Huey?” “Great, I’ve been in and out of puddles all day … what more could a duck want?” “What’s your name, he asked the 2nd duck?” “Dewey” was the reply … “And I’ve been in and out of puddles all day as well.” He turned to the 3rd duck and said: “I suppose you’re Louie …?” “No, she said batting her eyelids … my name is puddles!”
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