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The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the examination was complete, he said: “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.” “Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.” “Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term, so I can tell my wife.”
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The woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What, dear?” she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. “I think you’re bad luck.”
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Two hillbillies got married. On their wedding night, the hillbilly groom admitted that he was a virgin and didn’t really know what to do.
The hillbilly bride giggled and said, “Silly, you just take that thing you play with and put it where I pee.” So he got up, grabbed his banjo and threw it in the sink.
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