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“Doctor,” the embarrassed man said, “I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore.”
“Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.” The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. “Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas,” the medic said. “Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on.” The doctor took the husband aside. “You’re in perfect health,” he said. “Your wife didn’t give me an erection either.”
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Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me…..I know we’ve been friends for a long time…..but I just can’t think of your name! I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.” Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes, she just stared and glared at her. Finally, she said, “How soon do you need to know?”
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One evening, our family was enjoying a newly discovered delicacy…shark steaks. In our enthusiasm, we cooked more than we could eat.
The next day, when I took the remaining steaks out of the refrigerator, the label on the foil-wrapped package caught my eye. In neat handwriting, my wife had clearly identified the shark leftovers: “Jaws II.”
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