| My voice rises above the din, sometimes catching all unaware. I never ask questions yet get many answers. |
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May 212026
gags
May 212026
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A woman dies and goes to heaven. As St. Peter is processing her, she hears a woman screaming in pain. She looks in the room and sees them drilling holes in the woman’s shoulders to fasten the wings. Then she hears a man screaming and sees them drilling holes in his head to fasten the halo.
“I do not want to go to heaven,” she tells St. Peter. “I’ll go to the other place.” “You don’t want to go there,” he replies. “They rape and sodomize you down there.” “I don’t care,” she answers. “At least I already have holes for that.”
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May 202026
May 202026
| I’m the part of the bird that’s not in the sky. I can swim in the ocean and yet remain dry. What am I? |
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May 202026
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A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player, and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.”
The player agreed, so the coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?” The player thought for a moment and then answered, “Four?” “Did you say four?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right. Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming, “Come on, Coach, give him another chance!”
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