Joke Of The Day: Cell Phone Etiquette

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: Cell Phone Etiquette
Feb 192013
 

Rubber ChickenAfter a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:

“Hi sweetheart, its Eric. I am on the train.”

“Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting”.

“No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. It was with the boss”.

“No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life”.

“Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart”

Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly. When the young woman sitting next to him had enough, she leaned over and said into the phone,

“Eric, hang up the phone and come back to bed.”

Eric doesn’t use his cell phone in public any longer :-)

 

 

Joke Of The Day: True Love

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: True Love
Feb 142013
 

Rubber ChickenThis 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, “What did you steal?”

She replied, “A can of peaches.”

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.

She replied, “6.”

The judge said, “Then I will give you 6 days in jail.”

Before the judge could conclude the trial, the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, “What is it?”

The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: My Wife Is Deaf

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: My Wife Is Deaf
Feb 132013
 

Rubber ChickenA concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.”

“Well,” the doctor replied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn’t reply move about 5 feet close and say it again. Keep doing this so that we’ll get an idea about the severity of her deafness”.

Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

He hears no response.

He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again.

No reply.

He moves 5 feet closer.

Still no reply.

He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

She replies, “For the fourth time, vegetable stew!”