May 282013
May 272013
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 6.6 pounds.
The average man’s penis is two times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women
Will be finished reading this by now!
Men
Will still be busy measuring their thumbs!
Joke Of The Day: Neck Size
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May 262013
Joke Of The Day: Hit With A Maple Leaf
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May 212013
A little old man was escorted into the witness box. He was sworn in and asked by the lawyer to explain what happened.
After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident he finally got around to the meat of the case: ‘And then she hit me with a maple leaf.’
‘A maple leaf? Surely that couldn’t have caused you any serious injury,’ said the lawyer.
‘Are you kidding?’ exclaimed the old man. ‘It was the leaf from the center of our dining room table.’
May 142013
Are computers male or female? You decide.
FIVE REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE:
5. They’re heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you’ve established a network connection.
3. They’ll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won’t do more than they have to and they won’t think of it on their own.
2. They’re typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they’ve already invested so much in the damn machine that they’re compelled to remain with an under powered system.
1. They get hot when you turn them on, and that’s the only time you have their attention.
FIVE REASONS COMPUTERS MUST BE FEMALE:
5. No one but their creator understands their logic.
4. Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message, “Bad command or filename,” is about as informative as “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then I’m certainly not going to tell you.”
1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.