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Q: What’s in the middle of girl’s legs?
A: Their knee. |
Joke Of The Day: A Girl’s Legs
Jokes
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May 072015
Apr 162015
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 50 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.
If a woman over 50 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.
A woman over 50 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 50 give a darn what you might think about her or what she’s doing.
Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 50 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women.
Women over 50 couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50. They always know.
A woman over 50 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed hot woman of 50+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress.
For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you: Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
100 Years Of Fitness In 100 Seconds
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Mar 302015
This video reveals women’s fitness developments over the past century. Early forms of exercise were used for alternative health benefits as well as fitness, including squats to ease the symptoms of constipation. Later forms of fitness involve women opting for dance related methods as a fun form of exercise including Street Dance and Zumba.
Enjoy!
100 Years of Fitness showcases ‘keep fit’ fads and movements from the 1910s to the current day, presents 100 years of women’s fitness in 100 seconds – See more: Benenden Health
It’s a colourful history: from the gentle stretches of the 1910s and 1920s, designed to reduce ‘unfeminine’ perspiration, to the hula hoop and twister fads of the mid-20th century and today’s high-energy Zumba workouts.
It begins with the 1910s, an era when women took to early exercise bikes and weights with gusto: ankle-length attire or not! Their main form of exercise was comprised of gentle stretches that were said to improve the hips and, believe it or not, ease constipation!
1920s fitness included more of the same stretches, with a more energetic twist undoubtedly inspired by the popular dance routine, the Charleston. Glamour prevailed even during these workouts, with fitness clothes incorporating silk nightgowns and full makeup instead of sports bras!
In the 1930s, fitness made a concerted leap forward. Enter the Women’s League of Health and Beauty, an organisation created by Mary Bagot Stack, aiming to bring fitness to the masses. ‘Movement is life’ was her motto, and her fitness exercises were revolutionary, incorporating, for the first time, things like star jumps in large group classes.
Next, the 1940s marked another departure for women’s fitness. The Women’s League of Health and Beauty maintained a large membership, but with the onset of war, many women began exercising in their own homes. Genteel, sweat-minimising exercises were the order of the day, including an early form of sit-up.
1950s fitness is the epitome of retro fitness, with the hula hoop taking centre stage. Both children and adults were swept up in the craze, and with a little clever marketing, people saw the hula hoop as a fully-fledged exercise tool! Who knew you could have so much fun while burning calories?
Hula hoop fitness was later cast aside when the 1960s introduced the world to the Trim Twist. Made from a square of pressed board mounted on top of a metal turning mechanism, this portable piece of kit became a hit with housewives and office workers alike. Simply stand on top and get twisting to firm the stomach, bottom, arms and legs.
1970s fitness took a jauntier turn when former Broadway star, Judi Sheppard Missett, introduced her new phenomenon… Jazzercise! This combination of aerobic exercise and jazz dancing was designed to slim and tone, and proved so much fun that it’s still practised in 32 countries!
When we reach the 1980s, it’s all about aerobics. Day-glo leotards and big hair dominated the fitness industry, with physical fitness becoming something of a status symbol. High-energy routines and high kicks provided an intense cardiovascular workout, and Jane Fonda dominated television screens.
1990s fitness was less Jane Fonda and more Billy Blanks, an American taekwondo instructor who brought Tae Bo to the nation. His exercise trend combined taekwondo and boxing to create movements designed to promote fitness and work every area of the body.
The 2000s, however, were the decade in which fitness through dance returned. ‘Street dance’ passed through school yards and local neighbourhoods into dance studios and gyms, becoming the fitness trend of choice. ‘Locking’ and ‘popping’ the body, bobbing and weaving, and grabbing or punching through the air are the hallmarks of almost every routine.
Today, in the 2010s, fitness is even more fast-paced: say hello to Zumba! Incorporating elements of hip-hop, soca, salsa, samba, merengue and mambo, it feels more like a trip to a nightclub with friends than an effort to get fit! From the old to the young, everybody is welcome at classes. Health and fitness has never been more accessible!
Mar 292015
A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husband.
The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?” Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn’t remember.
The women then were told to take out their cell phones and text to their husband: “I love you, sweetheart.”
The women then were instructed to exchange phones with another person, and to read aloud the text message they received, in response to their message.
Below are 12 replies; some are hilarious. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love….who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?
1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What’s wrong?
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don’t understand what you mean?
6. What the hell did you do now?
8. Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn’t she?
Mar 252015
Buzzfeed came up with a clever video translating what guys ‘really mean’ when they shout sexual innuendos and cat call women on the street.
Unfortunately, Buzzfeed mixes in some unnecessary social commentary, but there are a lot of funny lines:
- “What up, lil mama? I am extremely sexually frustrated…”
- “This has never, ever worked…”
- “Wait, wait, what’s my problem? How come I can’t pick up on these social cues? What is my probblemmm??”
- “I do this cuz I’m looonneelllyyy….”
I don’t know about all the “objectifying” business – testosterone-filled guys are naturally attracted to women and may just want to propagate the human species. There may be a simpler reason why guys shout sexual phrases at random women on the street: They’re jerks.
