Story Of The Day – The Election

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Jul 152011
 

The kids in the neighborhood held an election. The grownups were astonished that a four-year-old had been elected president.

“That boy must be a born leader,” one dad observed. “How does it happen that all you bigger boys voted for him?”

“Well, you see, Dad,” one boy replied, “he cannot very well be secretary because he does not know how to write. He would not do for treasurer because he is not able to count. He would never do for sergeant-at-arms because he is too little to throw anybody out. If we did not choose him for anything, he would feel bad. So we made him president.”

Joke Of The Day

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May 212011
 

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu.

Tourist: $5.00
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked: Why such a high price for the Politicians?

The cook replied: Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of shit, it takes all morning.

Change

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May 032011
 

There’s an old sea story about a ship’s Captain who inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad.

The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally.

The first mate responded, “Aye, aye sir, I’ll see to it immediately!”

The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, “The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear.”

He continued, “Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with Schultz.”

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

Someone may come along and promise “Change”, but don’t count on things smelling any better…