Tag: Prostitutes

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

John and Helen met while on vacation on the Gold Coast, and John fell head over heel ‘in love’ with her. But after a couple of weeks in which John took Helen out to various dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, etc. he was convinced that it was true love.

And so…..on the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how the relationship would continue. It’s only fair to warn you, I’m a total golf nut, I play in the Xmas Cup every year’ John said to his new found lady friend. ‘I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that’s going to be a problem, you’d better say so now!’

Helen took a deep breath and responded: ‘Since we’re being honest with each other, here goes … You need to know that I’m a hooker….’ ‘I see’, John replied. ‘That’s a problem, for sure.’ He spent some time looking down at the table, deep in thought. Then he added, ‘You know, it’s probably because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off.’

Amusing

The Brothel

The madam opened the brothel door in Dallas and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or earlyfifties. “May I help you sir?” she asked.

The man replied, “I want to see Valerie.”

“Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would
prefer someone else”, said the madam.

He replied, “No, I must see Valerie.”

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave
it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left. The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. “There are no discounts. The price is still $5000.” Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, he left.The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.After their session, Valerie said to the man, “No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?”

The man replied, “New Jersey.”

“Really,” she said. “I have family in New Jersey.”

“I know.” the man said. “Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.”

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer!

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