One day when the teacher walked into the classroom, she noticed that someone had written the word ‘PENIS’ (in tiny letters) on the blackboard.
She scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she rubbed the word off and began class.
The next day, the word ‘PENIS’ was written on the board again; this time it was written about halfway across the board.
Again she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the day’s lesson.
Every morning for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day’s being larger than the previous one, and each being rubbed off vigorously.
At the end of the second week, she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board but instead found the words: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.”
A man was deeply in love with his girlfriend Wendy so he decided to get her name tattooed on his penis. When he was flaccid, it read “Wy” and when he was erect, it read “Wendy”.
The man and his girlfriend Wendy decided to take a holiday to Jamaica. Their resort happened to be clothing optional and so wanting to fit it, the man went to the bar for a drink sans clothes. He noticed the bartender, who was nude, also happened to have “Wy” tattooed on his penis.
Getting excited, he asked the bartender whether he also had a girlfriend named Wendy and if he had her name tattooed on his penis. The bartender looked up at the guy, smiling, and said no he didn’t have a girlfriend named Wendy.
The guy asked what his tattoo read then. The bartender, still smiling, replied, “Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day”
An elderly couple was watching a show on the Discovery Channel about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When a man reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said “How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?”
The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband, “How is our little tribal experiment coming along?”
“Well, it looks like we’re about half way there” he replied.