Joke Of The Day

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Jul 192011
 

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

“Oh no, my dear, ” replied granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.” She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, “and if that damned ice cream truck hadn’t come along, he’d still be alive today!”

Joke Of The Day

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Jul 042011
 

Jacob age 85, and Rebeca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in.

He addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?”

The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”

Jacob: “Do you sell heart medication?”

Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”

Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”

Pharmacist: “All kinds.”

Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?”

Pharmacist: “Definitely.”

Jacob: “How about Viagra?”

Pharmacist: “Of course.”

Jacob: “Medicine for memory?”

Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety.”

Jacob: “What about vitamins and sleeping pills?”

Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”

Jacob: “Perfect! We’d like to register here for our wedding gifts.”

Scientists Find Possible Cure for Gray Hair

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Jun 272011
 
Photo via ABC News

Scientists have got to the root of grey hair – paving the way for locks that retain the lustre of their youth well into old age.

In a series of experiments, they have identified a protein called ‘wnt’ found to be vital to the production of colour in hairs.

The breakthrough raises the prospects of drugs, lotions or shampoos that raise levels of wnt – and restore white or grey hair to its natural colour.

Such a treatment would save women of a certain age the need to make endless expensive trips to the hair salon to have their greying roots covered up.

It would also doubtless be popular with middle-aged men keen to recapture their youthful looks.

The U.S. researchers describe a series of experiments which reveal wnt to be key to hair retaining its colour.

Read more…

Joke Of The Day

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Jun 192011
 

Sam and Abe, now in their eighties, first met in grade school. Their relationship now is playing cards, playing jokes and making bets.

One day Sam calls Abe and says, “I bet you that mine is longer soft than yours is hard. A thousand dollars…”

Abe replies, “How can that be? If you know anything about biology you….”

Sam interrupts, “I called for a bet, not a lecture. Mine is longer soft than yours is hard. A thousand dollars… YES OR NO?”

Abe says, “OK, OK. I’ll take that bet. How long is yours soft?”

Sam answers, “Eleven years!”

Second Act: Ernestine Shepherd

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Jun 132011
 

Ernestine Shepherd should be an inspiration to everybody.

If Moochell Obama was as active as Ernestine people might take her “Get up and move” crap a little more seriously.

Exercise is a must, says the world’s oldest competitive female bodybuilder.