Senior citizens play the first-person shooter, Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare.
Enjoy!
The latest Call of Duty game, Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, came out earlier this month and is one of the top games on Christmas lists this season. Nearly every kid has heard of and played Call of Duty, but that’s not usually the case with senior citizens. So the Fine Brothers decided to have a group of seniors play the new CoD to see what they think. Their reactions are priceless.
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A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’
‘There’s something wrong with my pecker’, he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.’ ‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ he said. The Receptionist replied; ‘Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.’ The man replied, ‘You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man then decided to walk out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes?’ ‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. ‘And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?’ ‘I can’t piss out of it,’ he replied. The waiting room erupted in laughter. |
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Three old ladies sit in a diner, discussing their health. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn’t remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down.”
The second lady says, “You think that’s bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn’t remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up!” The third lady smiles smugly. “Well, my memory is just as good as it’s always been, knock on wood,” she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, “Who’s there?” |
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William and Mildred decided to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. William went to the front desk to check them in while Mildred stayed with the car. As he was leaving the lobby, a young woman dressed in a very short skirt introduced herself as Candie. William brushed her off.
When William and Mildred got to their room, he told her that he’d been approached by a prostitute. “I don’t believe you,” laughed Mildred. “I’ll prove it,” said William. He called down to the desk and asked for Candie to come to room 1217. “Now,” he said, “you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us.” Soon, there was a knock on the door. Candie walked in, swirling her hips provocatively. “So, I see you’re interested after all,” she said. William asked, “How much do you charge?” “$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services.” William was taken aback. “$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25.” Candie laughed. “You must really be an old-timer if you think you can buy sex for that price.” “Well,” said William, “I guess we can’t do business. Goodbye.” After she left, Mildred came out of the bathroom. “I just can’t believe it.” William said, “Let’s go have a drink and forget it. ” Back downstairs at the bar, the old couple sipped their cocktails. Candie came up behind William, pointed at Mildred, and said… “See what you get for $25?” |
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Miss Beatrice, the Church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor went to check on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room, She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was half filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with the tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. “Miss Beatrice”, he said, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?” pointing at the bowl. “Oh yes” she replied, “Isn’t it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know… I haven’t had the flu all winter!”. The Pastor fainted. |