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An elderly couple visits the doctor so the wife who is feeling poorly gets a checkup.
The old man waits in the waiting room while the old lady is in the examining room. After a complete exam, the doctor brings the old woman into his office to ask her a few questions. “How are you sleeping?” he asks. “I get eight hours of sleep,” says the woman, “and sometimes I wake up to go the bathroom, but I have no problem falling back to sleep. Occasionally I take a 30 minutes nap in the afternoon, but all in all, I sleep just fine.” “How is your diet?” asks the doctor. “I have three well-balanced meals a day,” says the woman. “Sometimes I have a light snack between lunch and dinner, but I eat very well.” “Do you still have intercourse?” asks the doctor. “What?” replies the old lady. “Intercourse,” says the doctor. “Do you still have intercourse?” The old woman get up out of her chair and opens the door to the waiting room and asks her husband, “Honey, do we have intercourse?” The old man looks at her and says, “I have told you a thousand times, it’s Blue Cross Blue Shield!” |
Live long and prosper… thanks to bacon!
This morning, we read that the oldest woman in the world, Susannah Mushatt Jones, age 116, eats four strips of bacon every morning. This, coupled with a June report that supercentenarian Agnes Fenton, age 110, credits her age to three bottles of Miller Light everyday made us realize thatwe might consider changing some things up. Maybe we should be eating less kale and quinoa and more whiskey and ice cream.
Here is what to eat and drink for longevity, according to the oldest people in the world:
Four strips of bacon every morning, and Doublemint gum throughout the day — Suannah Mushatt Jones, Age 116
Three bottles of Miller High Life and a shot of Johnnie Walker whiskey everyday — Agnes Fenton, Age 110
One tablespoon of whiskey in morning coffee — Richard Overton, Age 108
Crispy bacon, fried chicken, and ice cream — Gertrude Baines, Age 115
Three raw eggs every morning — Emma Morano, Age 115 (who added that staying single is good for one’s health)
Chewing on chocolate — Leandra Becerra Lumbreras, Age 127—the oldest person to ever live (she also swears by never marrying)
