Tag: Nuns

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

A hippy sat next to a nun on the bus and asked her if he could have sex with her.

Shocked but recovering quickly she said “No for I am married to God”. She then quickly gets off the bus.

After she leaves the bus driver turns to the hippy and says “I heard what you asked the nun and I think I have a answer for you. She prays every Tuesday night at the old cemetery just dress in a robe and tell her your God”.

Tuesday night comes along and the hippy in his disguise finds the nun praying.

“Hello I’m God he says and I’m here to have sex with you”.

The nun agrees but only if it’s anal because she wants to die a virgin.

After the act the hippy pulls off the robe and says “Ha ha it was me the hippy”.

The nun then pulls off hers and says “Ha ha it was me the bus driver!”

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

A priest and a nun were lost in a snowstorm. After a while, they came upon a small cabin. Being exhausted, they prepared to go to sleep. There was a stack of blankets and a sleeping bag on the floor but only one bed.

Being a gentleman, the priest said, “Sister, you sleep on the bed. I´ll sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag.”

Just as he got zipped up in the bag and was beginning to fall asleep, the nun said “Father, I´m cold.”

He unzipped the sleeping bag, got up, got a blanket and put it on her. Once again, he got into the sleeping bag, zipped it up and started to drift off to sleep when the nun once again said, “Father, I´m still very cold.”

He unzipped the bag, got up again, put another blanket on her and got into the sleeping bag once again.

Just as his eyes closed, she said, “Father, I´m sooooo cold.”

This time, he remained there and said, “Sister, I have an idea. We´re out here in the wilderness where no one will ever know what happened. Let´s pretend we´re married.”

The nun said, “That´s fine by me.”

To which the priest yelled out, “Get up and get your own blanket!”

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter . He says, “Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be. The first nun says, “I want to be Sophia Loren;” and *poof* she’s gone.

The second says, “I want to be Madonna and *poof* she’s gone.

The third says, “I want to be Sara Pipalini..” St. Peter looks perplexed. “Who?” he asked? “Sara Pipalini;” replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, “I’m sorry, but that name just doesn’t ring a bell.” The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.

St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.

“No sister, the paper says it was the ‘Sahara Pipeline’ that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months.”

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while ‘the lights would turn off.’

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, ‘May I please use the restroom?

The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.’

‘Well, in that case, I ‘ ll just look the other way,’ said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!

She went to the bartender and said, ‘Sir, I don ‘ t understand? Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?’

‘Well, now they know you ‘re one of us’, said the bartender, ‘Would you like a drink?’

‘No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,’ said the puzzled nun.
‘You see,’ laughed the bartender, ‘every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?’

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