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Joke Of The Day: The Frugal Nun

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Jul 262017

A frugal nun decided that it was much cheaper to just dye the color back into her worn out clothes instead of buying new clothes.

Every year, the nun would go to a nearby dye shop to dye her clothes and hang them to dry.

When she returned to the store for the 10th time, she dyed and hung her clothes. When she came back to get her clothes, they were stiff and uncomfortable. She complained to the store manager and asked why that happened to her clothes.

The store manager replied:

“Well, Sister, old habits dye hard.”

Joke Of The Day: Got Milk?

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Jun 092016

There once was a 94-year-old nun in the 1890’s whose worn-out body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her.

However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she huffily declined. But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed the kitchen to spike the milk three times a day. Eventually, the elderly pious one approached her final hour. As several sisters gathered around her at bedside, the mother superior asked if she wanted to leave them any words of wisdom.

“Oh, yes,” she replied. “Never sell that cow!”

Joke Of The Day: Sisters Of St. Francis

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Dec 312015

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye… It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought. Soon he sees another sign which reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, ‘What may we do for you! my son?’

He answers, ‘I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business….
‘
‘Very well my son. Please follow me.’ He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, ‘Please knock on this door.’

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, ‘Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.’ He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

Joke Of The Day: Take One Apple

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Nov 212013

At a Catholic gathering, the Mother Superior stacked a pile of apples on one end of a table with a sign saying, “Take only one apple please – God is watching.”

On the other end of the table was a pile of cookies on which a student had placed a sign saying, “Take all the cookies you want – God is watching the apples.”

Joke Of The Day: The Hot Dog Experience

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Aug 012013

Two Irish nuns, who have just arrived in the US, are hungry and one says to the other, “I have heard that the Americans actually actually eat dogs.”

“That’s strange,” the other nun replied, “but if we are to live here, might as well do as the Americans do.” Agreeing to this, the first nun notices a hot dog vendor and they both decide to have hot dogs.

They ordered for two hot-dogs and as soon as the vendor gave it to them, they hurriedly found a bench to savor the American food. The first nun took out her hot-dog from the foil, stared at it for a while and whispered to the other nun, “Which part did you get?”

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